Social distancing, is it that different?

When I turned 50, I thought it would be fun be to share some of the comedic things midlife brings. Most of the time, you have to find humor in things to keep from losing your spirit. Since then, I have changed jobs and have been lucky enough to work full time from home. There have been drastic life changes. I will save that for another blog. Jenna is 21, and Eddie is 16. Almost an empty nester. 

The coronavirus has us experiencing social distancing. I feel like it is something many of us may have already been practicing, being out of touch with the rest of the world.

As you get to mid-age, your reasons for getting up each day change. The kids don’t need you to make breakfast. You don’t need to ask about schoolwork or if they remember work for school. You look back and wonder how you got there. 

We may like our money-making job, but it isn’t what sparks us anymore. The friends we have had for years (including spouses) have buried themselves in their careers. Texting has taken over many conversations. Most of us lost connection with each other only to touch base with a quick dinner or day out every so often. Coworkers become the people we communicate with the most. But then those are work-related conversations. We enjoy speaking to them because they are an escape from circling the drain in daily life. It isn’t anyone’s fault, life just gets in the way. 

We are in the most advanced technological society, yet we have become socially inept. 

So even though most of us are social distancing right now, I have begun to wonder if this could be socially reconnecting? The friend or parent you don’t get to see may become someone you appreciate more closely. We are looking at our finances and seeing where the money is being spent needlessly. The older kids that haven’t had a conversation are now sitting and talking. Chatting via video may feel disconnected but still more face to face than texting. You can look at someone and see their eyes sparkle. 

It starts to get some of the toxic energy out of your life because you can choose to spend time on what matters.

I am not religious but consider myself spiritual. This is our chance to re-communicate—people before stuff. Save for a rainy day, so a week off work doesn’t put your home into financial ruin. Hug your kids and listen to what they have to say versus doing ten other things while they speak. Video chat with a long time friend and talk about old stories with no interruptions. 

Most of us, by 50, have spent so much time running. We forgot how to look at what we are running from or the end result. Life shouldn’t be an end result but a succession of slopes and hills. The endpoint should be a peak we try to attain, not some trench we barrel into because we kept falling. 

I realize most of us say we are social and this is a huge undertaking. But are you social outside your home or with the people that really matter? Most of us may find we spend more time honing work skills and relationships because it puts food on the table. Just make sure you remember who is around the table. 

Social distancing isn’t as foreign as it appears. The joy of midlife is you learn to strive for people and things of quality. You leave behind the parts that don’t fit in your plan. I myself am social. I like people and the connection. Use this time to reach out to those you cherish via video. Everyone has slowed down, so they have time to chat. True conversations of how people really are doing. If they don’t have time it may be time to cut them from the “to do” list. 

Love people not things. Practice kindness where it hasn’t existed. 

Social distancing could be our defining moment if we see it as a short term advantage. 

How do you feel you are benefiting from social distancing?